From Survivor Job to Significant Impact with Adam Roach
What separates the coaches who finally build thriving businesses from those who stay stuck in endless preparation?
In this conversation, Adam Roach, founder of I Love Coaching Co., shares why success alone can leave you feeling empty, how significance creates lasting impact, and what it really takes to move from uncertainty to ownership. You'll discover the difference between being a generalist and a specialist, why your "payoff" matters more than your hourly rate, and how communities can accelerate transformation.
Adam also introduces his powerful concept of the "POSE" — the identity many people hide behind — and explains why letting go of that mask is often the key to stepping into your true calling.
If you've been feeling called to something bigger but keep waiting for certainty before taking action, this episode may give you the perspective shift you've been looking for.
In This Episode You'll Discover:
✅ Why significance creates more fulfillment than chasing success
✅ The hidden reason talented coaches stay stuck
✅ How to identify the clients you're truly meant to serve
✅ Why specialists command higher fees and get better results
✅ The role community plays in transformation and growth
✅ The question that reveals whether you're ready to move forward
Connect with Adam Roach
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Transcript
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Working harder isn't the answer, yet that's exactly what coaches are told every day. Create more content, spend more time marketing, take more calls, push harder. But if hustle was the solution, there wouldn't be so many talented coaches still stuck wondering when their breakthrough is finally coming.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: In today's conversation, we're exploring the real reason so many people feel called to coaching, but never fully step into it, and why others find the clarity to move forward and build thriving businesses.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You'll hear what separates action from hesitation, ownership from uncertainty, and why growth often comes from simplifying rather than doing more.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Before we wrap up, you'll discover the question that can reveal whether you're truly not ready.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Or whether you've simply been waiting too long for certainty.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Welcome to the You World Order Showcase Podcast, where we feature life health transformational coaches and spiritual entrepreneurs who are stepping up to be the change they seek in the world. I'm your host, Jill Hart, The Coach's Alchemist, on a mission to empower coaches and entrepreneurs to amplify their voice, monetize their mission, and get visible.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: If you're ready to start attracting premium clients without chasing algorithms or hunting people down like a banshee on a mission, head on over to Coachesalchemist.com and schedule your free client acquisition audit. It's the first step to building a business where your clients seek you out rather than you having to hunt them down.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Today, we're chatting with Adam Roach. Adam is the founder of I Love Coaching Co, where he helps established coaches move from uncertainty to ownership. His work focuses on helping coaches simplify their business model, increase leverage, and grow to $360,000 a month and beyond without adding more hours or complexity. Through a community that has expanded across three continents, Adam has helped more than three dozen people
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: People transition from survivor jobs into full-time coaching careers.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: His approach emphasizes clarity over hype, ownership over hustle, and creating environments where meaningful conversations lead to clear decisions.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Welcome to the show, Adam. It's great to have you with us today.
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::Adam Roach: Jill, thank you. I'm excited to be here. This is gonna be a lot of fun. Yes.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I think so, too. So let me ask you the big question. What's the most significant thing, in your opinion, as individuals, we can do to make an impact on how the world is going?
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::Adam Roach: Mmm. Well, you know, I think we have choices. Actually, I know we have choices.
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::Adam Roach: And the choice is simple, and I'll just speak for myself, and from my own experience, and that is the choice of, do you chase success, or do you chase significance? Because I do believe, at the end of the day.
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::Adam Roach: Having chased significance and having chased success, success is a dead end, right? And here's what I mean by that.
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::Adam Roach: is… is I've had the… just the blessed…
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::Adam Roach: relationship with John Maxwell for the last 15 years. He's been a coach, he's been a mentor of mine.
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::Adam Roach: And from my early days of chasing success, my father was an Olympic swim coach, so I saw him
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::Adam Roach: I saw him do things that, were just amazing to me as a child, right? And I thought that that was the direction you had to go. You had to be on magazine covers, you had to be in the Hall of Fames of things, and that…
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::Adam Roach: Success was everything.
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::Adam Roach: And it wasn't until he passed in 2019, and when John and I sat down and had a conversation, he says, are you done chasing success? Because now it's time to chase significance, that I actually got to see what significance really meant. And as I spoke my father's eulogy, I looked out over the crowd, and I saw 400 or 500 people there.
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::Adam Roach: And they were there because he had had significance in their life.
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::Adam Roach: And these were athletes, these were parents, these were other coaches.
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::Adam Roach: And that's when it hit me. Hit me like a ton of bricks. So I sold every business that I had in 2019, just to focus on the significant path of
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::Adam Roach: empowering coaches to serve and change 100 million people, and that's… that's the significance path that we are on right now, and I believe that that is what you can control, right? Do you want to chase success, or do you want to chase significance? Success comes
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::Adam Roach: when you are significant, by the way, and that's what I've now lived for the last 6 years, and I love it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's so funny you say that.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You know, there's an exercise that people will often have people… other people do about, you know.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Naming… it has to do with naming 7 levels, going… asking why 7 levels down.
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::Adam Roach: Sure.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And I did that exercise… actually, it's probably been, like, Maybe 15 years ago now.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And significance was the bottom line. I wanted to be significant.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: we all chase success on some level or another, especially in the beginning. You know, we think we want to do one thing, but then…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You know, other things show up, and… But ultimately, it is about…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: being significant. We're… we all have gifts. Yeah. And…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And significance is about letting your gift shine. It's not about…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: you being special in some way, though I believe everybody is special, it's allowing the freedom for being special in your… in your way, and that's where success really does shine.
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::Adam Roach: It does, and I do believe that, listen, there's nothing wrong with having success. I love success. Success is great.
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::Adam Roach: But to your language there of gifts, we have to realize that
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::Adam Roach: They are what they are. You didn't create those. They are gifts. That's why they're called a gift. They were given to you.
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::Adam Roach: And your job with those gifts.
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::Adam Roach: is… is, number one, give credit where credit's due, and number two is you don't have to be self-reliant in that space to make it about yourself. So, success for me was building notoriety. Success for me was chasing the dollar. Success for me was being, being known. Significance now.
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::Adam Roach: It's taking those gifts, taking those learned lessons.
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::Adam Roach: Because we have to learn them, right? We definitely have to learn them. And saying, oh, this is really about serving people. This is really about…
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::Adam Roach: helping other people do what they do, and we call it the Real Coach Approach, or Real Coach Method, and I don't mean that arrogantly and real, because everybody has their own unique styles, but this is an acronym that we have developed along the way, because we believe that every coach in the space should be a real coach, and that's relevant.
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::Adam Roach: experiential, authentic, and they should be leaders. But what's a leader? A leader's an influencer. What's an influencer? They get someone to take action, right? And so, at the end of the day, that is…
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::Adam Roach: That's so… I love the language there of your gifts. How are you serving those gifts to allow you to stay in a space of significance?
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::Adam Roach: Consistently and more frequently.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And perhaps even recognizing how your gifts are applicable to Whatever you're offering.
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::Adam Roach: Yeah, that's good.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And not to get married to one offer.
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::Adam Roach: Well, we call them a problem-solution cycle, right? And the problem-solution cycle looks like this. We have a four-phase approach, and what we mean by that is.
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::Adam Roach: there's different… everybody's gonna have their own unique approach to how to build something, and what we do is we phase it out. But the first phase is, you've got to go inside before you go outside. And we say that over and over and over, and here's what we mean by that.
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::Adam Roach: is we watch coaches step into the space of serving other people, but from their past, we call it container, right? From their past experience. And let's say that they're a 30, a 40, a 50, a 60-year-old individual.
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::Adam Roach: That last experience that they just had of learned lessons doesn't have to define what they coach.
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::Adam Roach: I mean, I'll be 50 this year, well, actually in February of next year.
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::Adam Roach: And I've got… I've got a few decades in the past of learned experiences that I may have more passion in than my past container.
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::Adam Roach: And I'll give you an example, excuse me. We had a coach come to the community, she was going through our blueprint.
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::Adam Roach: And… she went off and started having success.
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::Adam Roach: And she was defining success as monetary success, so she was making some money. And she came back, like, 4 months or so later, and she said, hey.
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::Adam Roach: If I have to continue to coach that person who I said I wanted to coach originally, I'm gonna look like you, Adam, I'm gonna pull out all my hair. I said, okay, fine, what do you want to do? So she said, I went back to the blueprint, and she goes, I missed something.
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::Adam Roach: And I said, what'd you miss? And she said, I miss the word passion.
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::Adam Roach: I said, oh, tell me more about that. And she said, well, what I realized was, I thought I had to coach who I was just coming from.
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::Adam Roach: But that wasn't true. She said, what I realized was, I, as a mother.
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::Adam Roach: I, as a CEO, want to coach other CEO mothers because I have passion there. Not just generic leaders, not just generic business builders, but mothers specifically who are CEOs, and oh, Jill, her business just took off.
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::Adam Roach: And it was cool. And so that's… I agree with you. Yeah, those gifts, you've got to see it and know that you have many gifts from yesterday. Just where do you want to go get them from?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yes, and that's a perfect example of understanding your gifts, and understanding who you're here to serve.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I think a lot of times we're just like, anybody that'll give me money.
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::Adam Roach: Right.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: They don't say it… most people don't say it in that way, but really, that's what…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: what it comes down to, especially in the beginning, when you're really not sure, you know, which direction to go, and so you go, and you buy all these programs, and you make it through the first, you know, two modules, and then you're, like, on to the next thing, because that didn't solve your problem.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But… Once you… once you develop
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: The framework for significance, and it is really… it's an inside job.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: when you realize, okay, I'm gonna take stock of
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: how I am, who I want to serve, and how I want to show up every day, and what do I want my life to look like. You can talk about making, you know, hundreds of thousands of dollars
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And, you know, that's a good goal, but it's not everybody's goal. Some people are in the stage of life where they're like, you know, I just want to help a handful of people, but specific people, and
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: you know, that's a business model, too. Not all business models have to look the same, but if you decide up front how you want your life to look.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It makes shaping your business to fit your life so much easier.
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::Adam Roach: It is, and I think you said it a little earlier about a word payoff, right?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Huh?
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::Adam Roach: We are firm believers in helping coaches identify What?
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::Adam Roach: They're a specialist in.
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::Adam Roach: Right? Because here's what we know.
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::Adam Roach: Generalists versus specialists.
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::Adam Roach: General list?
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::Adam Roach: Or exactly what it sounds like.
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::Adam Roach: And in the coaching lane, generalists have clients that just kind of go through the motions, right? You can be a great coach. If you're a generalist coach and you're listening to this, I'm not speaking ill of you, though that continual
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::Adam Roach: coaching just kind of becomes a relationship-type coaching, and you're not necessarily sure. You can say, okay, I'm gonna teach someone how to make a million dollars. Okay, great. Fantastic.
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::Adam Roach: But if you're still working with that person for 5 years.
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::Adam Roach: And it's taking that long to get there? Where can you specialize?
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::Adam Roach: In what specific lane of making a million dollars can you become a specialist
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::Adam Roach: And get someone to a payoff faster.
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::Adam Roach: Because that will serve more people.
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::Adam Roach: In the grand scheme of things.
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::Adam Roach: And… and it's so interesting to watch the difference between a specialist and a generalist, because a specialist understands their payoff.
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::Adam Roach: Right? They really understand what the avatar, or the client, whatever you want to call them, is going to receive post-working with you.
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::Adam Roach: And when you can identify that, guess what you can then identify? The actual price. We call it the 1 tenth rule. Because if I can help you get to a million dollars, there's no reason why you won't pay me $100,000 to get there.
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::Adam Roach: Most people, though, put that price, I'm gonna say coaches, coaches have tendencies to put the price on their time, and I don't believe in price on time, because you're not for sale. Your payoff is for sale. But if you're a generalist coach and you don't know your payoff, you're gonna charge based on the hour.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You also find… well, I have found that
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: People who are more serious and want that payoff.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: more intensely.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Are willing to invest more upfront.
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::Adam Roach: Right? Compression of time is what we call it, yes. If you can help someone compress time.
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::Adam Roach: I'll give you an example. We had someone reach out to us.
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::Adam Roach: And we love to help coaches scale. So we have two offers that we… outside of our blueprint, we have two offers that we offer to the outside world, people that are not in our community. One is how to do a sellable offer, the other one is how to do a scalable offer.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Huh?
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::Adam Roach: And so, we had someone come to us, and we sat down, and we did our process with them.
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::Adam Roach: And they said, we want to work with you specifically. Fantastic.
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::Adam Roach: And so, when it came time to the payoff, they knew what the payoff was.
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::Adam Roach: And they said, yes, fine, we will work with you for 6 months, but we really would like to get this done much faster. Fantastic. Define faster.
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::Adam Roach: A week. Okay, so you want to take…
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::Adam Roach: 6 months, condense it into a week. That's how I'm gonna do you one better. We'll condense it into 2 days. You'll fly to Charleston, which is where I live. We're gonna spend 12 hours. We're gonna spend 12 hours taking everything from 6 months, doing it into 12 hours, and there's gonna be an extra zero on what you're going to be charged. No problem.
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::Adam Roach: They did it, they came in, they got their work done, they pushed play when they left, and they had the success and significance they wanted. But people, you're absolutely right, will pay for compression of time.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And it… it's…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Not a slam on anybody, but you also need to look at who you're serving, whether they are interested in what you have to offer, and not be afraid to
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: only… Address people who
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Are actually in a position where they want the result, and they are able to pay for that result.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And, you know, the truth is, not everyone is able to pay for the result that they think they want, nor are they in the position to take action on it.
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::Adam Roach: We say when we help coaches define their avatar, so we call it an avatar, is 3 questions. You have to answer yourself three questions. The very first question is probably one of the most important questions. Do you like them?
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::Adam Roach: Right? Do you like that individual?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah.
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::Adam Roach: Secondly, is can you, we all think we can, and will you help them?
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::Adam Roach: Right? Can you and will you help them? And the last simple question is, can they afford the payoff that you are going to charge them?
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::Adam Roach: And… I have… I've been blessed to have many amazing coaches coach me.
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::Adam Roach: And I'll never forget, I was working with a guy named Dan Martell, and Dan, actually, we had our first call, and he says, what's your conversion rate? I said, 92%.
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::Adam Roach: He says, 92%? I said, yes. I'm thinking I'm doing good.
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::Adam Roach: And he says, 92% is garbage. I said, garbage? Great. Are you gonna be one of those coaches that wants me to be at 100%? He says, no. He says, on the contrary, I want you to be about 20 to 30%. I said, okay, I'm listening. He says, because number one, if you're at 90%, number one, you're way underpriced.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Dude.
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::Adam Roach: And number 2 is you should not be converting 9 out of 10 people. It should be between 2 to 3 people, because that means you are positioned properly to not take every Tom, Dick, and Harry, and that means your outreach is done good, because now you know
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::Adam Roach: Those are the only people you should be working with, if it's one-on-one. We're talking about one-on-one here. Great, makes sense. So yeah, love that.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And even communities. He's, like, the closer… and honestly, I break this rule all the time, because…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'm in a weird situation, but…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I just generally like to help people.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: get going. And that's a lot of the reason why I do what I'm doing. But…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I do recognize that there's a group of people that I can help get really good results. It's not going to be everyone. It's just going to be a very small group, and they need to be action takers, because if you're not
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: If you're not really willing to do the work, and if you're not… if you haven't reached that level of expertise in
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Some of the fundamentals, you're not…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You're not going to get those results.
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::Adam Roach: No, you're not.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And price is often a filter for those people.
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::Adam Roach: Yeah, it is. We like to call it the process, right? We believe there's 3 P's in the coaching world, and these are part of our other phases, right? So we have four phases. Phase two of our blueprint is all about what we call proximity.
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::Adam Roach: And proximity is, this is where you start your business. We suggest that you start your business with one-on-one. Why? Well, because number one, one-on-one, you're going to keep the lights on, right? So as you said in the beginning, we've helped
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::Adam Roach: Gosh, now we're approaching almost 50 people that we've helped retire, if you will, from their survivor jobs into the coaching world.
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::Adam Roach: And in the beginning, you got to probably cover an expense, okay? So, great. Step into a specialist space, go find the people that we call are your warm world. These are people you already have relationships with, or they trust or like you, right?
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::Adam Roach: And… and step into that first. Secondly, as you're working through that one-on-one, you create what we call your process, and that's your second P.
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::Adam Roach: The process is, as a specialist, you know now your problem-solution cycle, both macro and micro, and you know the start and end to your process.
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::Adam Roach: And then lastly, you create what we call your peers. Not your peers as a coach, but the peers of the avatar who can't afford you in a proximity play, but they can afford working in a community of sorts. We call it the one-to-many.
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::Adam Roach: And that is where now you start to build this true MRR, because now your time
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::Adam Roach: is just in a little bit given to the one-to-many, and a lot bit given to the one-on-ones. And that's how we build a million-dollar coaching business.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And there are so many tools to make that so easy these days!
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::Adam Roach: So many, you're absolutely right. So, so many, yes.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And so many ways to do it. So…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You've helped a lot of people leave their survivor jobs, as you call them, and become full-time coaches. What separates the people who successfully make that transition from those who stay stuck?
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::Adam Roach: Great question.
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::Adam Roach: Well, some people don't want to leave a role that they're in, they just feel called to coach. And those are great. That's okay. I mean, we serve those people also.
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::Adam Roach: Those that say they want to, and those that don't, That's an easy one.
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::Adam Roach: Those that don't make it out of their survivor job are afraid to leave what we call their pose. P-O-S-E.
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::Adam Roach: And what that pose is, is this is what they believe is their identity, right?
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::Adam Roach: They are… they are… again, whether it's from a past container or a few past containers, they are the leader, they are the whatever, right? And…
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::Adam Roach: And a lot of times, that's a pose. And that pose comes from a false identity of who they actually think they are.
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::Adam Roach: And therefore, they actually don't believe in themselves. They don't believe that their true payoff can help them stand on their own two feet. They can become a specialist and build notoriety in a space of, oh my gosh, I can solve this problem.
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::Adam Roach: And there's so many people that want this solution, and I'm just serving the past, or the…
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::Adam Roach: The past version of myself, that's easy to do.
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::Adam Roach: But they can't get past their pose. And we actually have an equation that teaches and walks people through how to expose that pose. We call it the wound. Everybody's… this is the phase one, they gotta go inside to go outside.
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::Adam Roach: You identify your wound. We've all been wounded somewhere, shape, or form.
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::Adam Roach: When we were wounded, we then create what we call the L, and that is the lie. The lie is that sentence or statement that you don't actually believe about yourself, but the third letter in the equation, so it goes W plus L plus V equals vow, V-O-W, that you will vow to yourself
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::Adam Roach: To hide and cover up that lie, which creates your pose.
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::Adam Roach: And so the people that don't get out of their survivor jobs, but they want to get out of their survivor jobs, won't let go of that identity.
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::Adam Roach: They won't let go of it. It is their core system, right? It is true to their core.
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::Adam Roach: But boy, when we watch those people let go of that.
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::Adam Roach: And they step into this serving identity. They step into this identity, and they also understand what we call the premise, right? The premise is, what is your world belief?
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::Adam Roach: Jill, you and I are in the space of serving coaches. You have an incredible business, an incredible community, incredible process.
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::Adam Roach: I, too, am in the exact same space, but I bet we have different belief, worldview beliefs of some areas of the coaching space. Guess what? That will attract the coaches that are attracted to that, and detract the coaches that aren't. Same thing in my world. And that is the neat part. When they can let go of that identity.
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::Adam Roach: and step into their real, true calling identity, and know what their beliefs are in that space. I like to say that people know, people want to know that you have an opinion, and when they can do that, whew, the gates of opportunity open wide.
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::Adam Roach: We had, we had someone
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::Adam Roach: Who stepped into that. And, oh, it was a painstaking process for this individual to let go of their pose.
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::Adam Roach: Though… so the first… let's call it the first 3 months or so, right? And in our… in our community, it's a… it's a 12-month community seat.
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::Adam Roach: The first 3 months, 4 months, was a struggle.
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::Adam Roach: And so, through the community, we call it transformation. We believe that transformation happens in 3 different ways. Transformation begins with humility.
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::Adam Roach: Humility is showing up where you are a mess.
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::Adam Roach: It's okay. Show up where you are a mess. And so this individual wouldn't let go of the pose of looking good and being right.
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::Adam Roach: Right? Wouldn't let go. For the first 3 or 4 months, wouldn't let go of that pose.
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::Adam Roach: So the community had to share with this individual that it's okay to show up a mess. It's okay to show up that you don't have all the answers. And guess what? It's okay if your hair's not done every single time. I get it, it's okay, right?
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::Adam Roach: And then we say the second part of transformation is transformation thrives in a community.
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::Adam Roach: And so, this individual started to step into the community. This is not the Adam Roach Show inside the I Love Coaching community. It is a powerful group of coaches that are connected to change and serve 100 million people.
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::Adam Roach: And so, transformation thrives in a community, and the last one that this person finally understood was transformation inspires transformation.
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::Adam Roach: So when this individual understood that the pose needed to be released.
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::Adam Roach: She needed to step into her true identity with a real passion around her belief system.
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::Adam Roach: That she literally hit a quarter of a million dollars, that was her goal, in, like, 6 months, because she finally let go.
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::Adam Roach: And she was able to retire from her survivor job in no time after she let go of her pose. So, long-winded answer to say that is what we see, is they… those that won't let go of their pose.
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::Adam Roach: Probably aren't gonna get out of their survivor job.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It seems to me like the pose is almost like a mask that you're hiding behind, or even a whole costume. It's just like…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You can't see me.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And when people can't see you, they can't know you.
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::Adam Roach: No.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: They just see this image that is really distorted, because it's not who you are, and…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I love that mess, because we all are a mess in some area.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: the most areas, probably, of our lives. And we're… we're…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: We're getting through them, and, you know, it's what makes life an adventure.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And you get to have lots of experiences, and, you know, you can label them if you want, but they're just experiences.
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::Adam Roach: I'll be vulnerable here, and I'll share with the listeners, as I had to go through that equation myself.
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::Adam Roach: So, as I mentioned at the top of the podcast, I chased success, right? I played college tennis, I played professional tennis, well, at least I tried. I found out real quick I was an American, not a European, and I was getting my butt kicked all the time. Then I got into the tennis business, and then I got into the real estate business, and was achieving
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::Adam Roach: what I wanted to achieve, right?
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::Adam Roach: And then I got into the real estate brokerage ownership business, and I started buying franchises, and life was fan… I had a software company was running. Life was fantastic.
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::Adam Roach: But when I heard this equation, And I love my father.
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::Adam Roach: Someone said, okay, Let's go to the wound, Adam.
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::Adam Roach: Now, let's talk about your dad.
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::Adam Roach: And he said, how did your dad wound you? I thought, He didn't.
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::Adam Roach: He said, no, no.
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::Adam Roach: He said, let me ask you a few questions. Was your dad an active dad or a passive dad? And I said, I don't think I understand the question. He said, well, you know, was your dad the kind of dad that sat you down and said, son, this is what I want you to do? Or was he just passive from the standpoint that you had to catch? Well, caught, not taught, right?
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::Adam Roach: I said, yeah, definitely, I caught a lot of stuff that my dad did. And he said, okay.
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::Adam Roach: And he said, how did your dad get his validation?
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::Adam Roach: Like, did he get it through church? Did he get it through the home? Did he get it externally?
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::Adam Roach: I said, well, Dad didn't go to church with us much. We had family dinners, but he was always gone a lot of the time, so… but he sure was on a lot of magazine covers, he sure was in the Hall of Fame of water skiing and swimming. He sure had a lot of notoriety. Okay.
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::Adam Roach: And he said, what lie did that create about yourself?
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::Adam Roach: I said, we're really going deep here. I said, and I did, I had to get emotional. When people can go deep, you're gonna find some wounds, and it hurts. And I said, gosh…
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::Adam Roach: That I was inadequate.
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::Adam Roach: Okay? I wasn't on magazine covers, I wasn't in any Hall of Fame.
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::Adam Roach: And then the vow that I created for myself was, I will always win.
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::Adam Roach: I will…
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::Adam Roach: Always compete. I will always be at the front of the room, right? That was the vow I made to myself to hide that lie. So what was… what was my pose? I was performance-driven.
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::Adam Roach: Performance was my pose.
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::Adam Roach: and…
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::Adam Roach: I had to step out of that. I had to realize, as you said, that was my mask. That was my entire costume.
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::Adam Roach: I was very transactional and not relational.
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::Adam Roach: I had little empathy.
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::Adam Roach: I had competence, but no empathy.
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::Adam Roach: And I had to realize that, gosh, success…
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::Adam Roach: That lane that I was going down, It was all about me.
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::Adam Roach: It was all about me standing number one on the podium. It was all about me being on a magazine cover. It was all about me.
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::Adam Roach: And I thought, whoa…
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::Adam Roach: that was… that was what I had to see and experience. And now, being in a coaching community, being blessed to be a part of this coaching community.
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::Adam Roach: I know you said in the intro, we've been on 3 continents. We've now been on 4 continents. I mean, someone from New Zealand just joined the community.
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::Adam Roach: And… and the neat part about it is.
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::Adam Roach: I know everybody in this community. I know their names.
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::Adam Roach: In my real estate brokerages, we had nearly 700, almost 800 agents. I didn't know their names, but they knew mine, and I thought that was great.
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::Adam Roach: - this is… this is… significance…
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::Adam Roach: leads to a path of legacy. I know legacy can be a buzzword right now, but John always says, if you want to have a legacy, you gotta have legs first.
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::Adam Roach: And people need to understand, like I saw at my dad's funeral.
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::Adam Roach: There was a guy that carried a tape recorder with him of my dad's voice as a swimmer. It was a cadence of my dad saying, go, go, go, that he still used 20, almost 30 years removed from working with my father that he used in his own world
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::Adam Roach: And John says, you have to have… if you want to have a legacy, there's gotta be legs.
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::Adam Roach: to what it is you have developed and built. And so, whew! I just wanted to share that with the listeners, that I had to go through that to expose my own pose, my own mask, my own costume, and that's what really helped me wake up and say.
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::Adam Roach: It's not about you, buddy.
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::Adam Roach: It's not about you.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Before we got started, I'm doing this push to make bestseller over on Substack. It's kind of the same thing. I…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I've been… More than almost halfway there for a long time.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But it was never really… a thing for me, I didn't really care about it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Until I read an article that somebody that I didn't even know
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: before I'd read his article, it was talking about, judging
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: success over on Substack by, the bestseller status tick. And it hit me that it's not…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Because we do have a community over on school.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: that…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'm really active with these people. I am really motivated to help them, to lift them up, to get them moving over there, because I'm very passionate about the platform. And so…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Being a bestseller doesn't…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: it doesn't really mean that much to me personally. I… I'm… yes, I'm competitive, but I'm not…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's… it's like…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, so what? But for these other people that I'm working with as a team, the more… because I'm so close, you know, we may as well all push together and get me there, get the publication there, so that it can benefit everybody else.
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::Adam Roach: Yeah?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Because every time I comment on their, their notes, or their publications, or,
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: or highlight them, like, you know, having you come on this show, this will go on Substack. And as a bestseller, you get way more exposure than you would get
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: if I weren't. So it's…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: it's about using these gifts that we have to… to help a larger… a larger space, and when you have a community that you can just be part of, you don't have to be standing up there going, you know, you gotta do this, and you gotta do that. You are kind of like a coach. You know, coaches only…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Can help you with however much…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Talent you bring to the… to the space.
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::Adam Roach: That's right. Yeah, that's good. Yep. And that…
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::Adam Roach: That takes growth. That takes maturity. That takes… I mean, let's be real. We're all creatures and developmental patterns of our environment, right? And…
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::Adam Roach: I… that's why I love communities. I absolutely love them. And community of any capacity, right?
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::Adam Roach: Whether that is…
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::Adam Roach: my kids go to a tennis academy here in Charleston. That's a community. We have a small group at our church. That's a community. Our church is a community, right? Our coaching community is a community, right? There's just so many…
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::Adam Roach: And that is where, again, You get to be just… Selfless.
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::Adam Roach: Right? Or you should be selfless, right? You definitely should be, because your job is to serve, and when you serve, other people will come and help you.
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::Adam Roach: It's so good.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Does…
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::Adam Roach: So good.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: We didn't come behind.
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::Adam Roach: Yeah, leading from behind, love it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: At the beginning, we talk about people feeling a calling, but being uncertain about whether it's time to move forward. What's the one question someone should ask themselves today to know whether they're ready to finally take ownership and act on it?
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::Adam Roach: Hmm… First question I would ask is, how long have you been avoiding
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::Adam Roach: How long have you been avoiding that itch?
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::Adam Roach: Right, how long have you been… you know that something is calling you, but you're pushing it away.
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::Adam Roach: the first question I would ask is, how long have you been avoiding it?
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::Adam Roach: I'll give an example there. I've been in the tennis world, I said, I've been in the real estate world, I've been in the software world.
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::Adam Roach: I was a tennis pro in Beverly Hills, California. I got to wear a collared shirt, shorts, teach tennis to amazing Hollywood stars like Tom Hanks and Courtney Cox and Val Kilmer, and you name it, right?
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::Adam Roach: Though that itch… came.
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::Adam Roach: And… I was afraid to tell anybody.
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::Adam Roach: I bet I live with that.
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::Adam Roach: Four years? Five years?
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::Adam Roach: knowing that I was called to do something else, but I was afraid to even acknowledge it, simply because I was afraid what somebody else would think, that why would he give up a life of teaching tennis outside in Southern California when it only rains 10 days a year, and amazing clients, amazing black book, but…
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::Adam Roach: He wants to do something else?
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::Adam Roach: Whew! And then when I sold my franchise, because of the calling, we called it the beach chair moment.
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::Adam Roach: I sat on that for about 2 months. So the first question I would ask is, if you were feeling that, how long have you been sitting on it?
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::Adam Roach: And then you gotta ask your… and then the other thing I would do is surround yourself with a board of advisors. Surround yourself with who's. I don't believe it starts with why. I believe it starts with who. And who you surround yourself with really matters, and if you are feeling that.
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::Adam Roach: When was the last time you shared that with them?
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::Adam Roach: Because we all know that you're going to be afraid of judgment, you're going to be afraid of someone else's reaction, but you can't control that.
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::Adam Roach: So stop trying to.
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::Adam Roach: Find your board of advisors, And share that you are feeling something.
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::Adam Roach: And just… Have them ask you this question first. It's one of my favorite questions.
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::Adam Roach: Do you want me to feel this, or fix this?
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::Adam Roach: Right? Do you want me to feel this or fix this? Because sometimes we get afraid to share something with a group, or a human or somebody else, because of the judgment or the reaction they're gonna have, but if you simply say to them first, hey, I'm gonna share something with you here, and I just want you to feel it.
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::Adam Roach: Don't fix it, just feel it.
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::Adam Roach: And then share.
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::Adam Roach: You can't control the reaction.
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::Adam Roach: At least you set the expectation. So, long-witted answer to say, how long have you been sitting with it?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I… I love that. And I love the feel it or fix it. It reminds me of a conversation I had with my youngest daughter, who was…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: We talk a lot, and often she just wants to share something.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: She wants me to feel it with her.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I don't have to fix it for her.
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::Adam Roach: -
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And it's so funny!
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::Adam Roach: We want to!
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I know.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And oftentimes, we could, but that's not what they're asking.
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::Adam Roach: -
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: from us, and being able to respect that boundary increases their confidence in you. It's a great parenting tip, honestly.
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::Adam Roach: It really is. And the other thing that goes along with that.
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::Adam Roach: Whether you're serving your community or parenting, is…
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::Adam Roach: Is by asking that question, and when they say, feel it.
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::Adam Roach: Something that had to be coached in and taught to me was, are you running after their hearts?
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::Adam Roach: Or are you running after a modification of behavior?
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::Adam Roach: And I was like, oh, that's good. I… because I want to run after their hearts.
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::Adam Roach: And… That question, feel it or fix it.
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::Adam Roach: The fix-it part is modification of behavior, the feel-it part is I'm going after your hearts, and it's okay, either answer is right.
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::Adam Roach: But it helps you stay in that space. And it just… it's…
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::Adam Roach: It's good, it's good, it's a good practice.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's a good communication tool, no matter
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: what… what you're doing? What's the goal of this conversation? Is it to move people to take action, or is it to move people to…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: feel something. That's right. And with that.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I know that you offer sellable coaching.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Sure. You want to talk a little bit about that, and how people can get involved with what you're doing?
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::Adam Roach: So we do two things. We serve two different types of…
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::Adam Roach: coaches, individuals who feel called to that space. And the first thing that we have found when coaches are launching a coaching business is
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::Adam Roach: is they think they might have a payoff, and sometimes they do, and sometimes they don't. And so what we do in a non-commitment standpoint, meaning you don't have to join our community for this, is we do what we call our Sellable Offer Challenge.
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::Adam Roach: The Sellable Offer Challenge is exactly what it sounds like. In a 3-day time period, 1 hour a day, we are going to walk you through a 3-step process on how to exit that sellable offer challenge with an offer that is sellable.
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::Adam Roach: And the second one that we do is what we call our scalable offer. So, once you have an offer that actually works, now we teach you how to scale that offer. And that's an intensive that we do. It's a one-day workshop, 5 hours long. By the time you finish that, now you have a scalable offer.
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::Adam Roach: So they can go find those at iloveCoachingCo.com. There is a CO there, iloveCoachingCo, that stands for community, dot com, and just go to events, and you'll see the events there.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Awesome.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Adam, thank you so much for joining me today.
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::Adam Roach: Jill, thank you for having me. This was an amazing conversation, and I look forward to further engagement in the future with us together. Maybe I'll even, if you're open to it, have you on the I Love Coaching podcast. I think that'd be fantastic.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Oh, I would love that.
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::Adam Roach: I've done that a lot.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: To learn more about Adam, and to take advantage of his…
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::Adam Roach: Yep.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: The coaching?
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::Adam Roach: Sure.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: the sellable and scalable offer challenges, be sure to go to ilovecoachingCo.com.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And we'll put those links in the show notes below. Thank you for joining us today. If you're ready to amplify your voice, monetize your mission, and start attracting premium clients, your next step is simple. Head to thecoachesalchemist.com and schedule your free client acquisition audit. Join us for our next episode as we share what others are doing to raise the global frequency. And remember, change begins with you. Have all the power to change the world. Start today and get visible.
