Burnout Isn’t the Problem. Misalignment Is.
Why do so many high-achieving women feel exhausted even when they’re doing everything “right”? In this conversation, Debbie Heiser shares a powerful reframe: burnout isn’t about doing too much, it’s about being disconnected from who you truly are.
Together, we explore identity, self-trust, and what it really means to lead, live, and build from alignment instead of pressure. If you’ve been pushing hard but still feeling off, this will shift how you see everything.
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https://thelituplife.com/buildher
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Transcript
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Why is it that women who are doing everything right, they're disciplined, consistent, high-achieving, are the ones quietly burning out? And what if the real problem isn't what they're doing, but who they're being while they're doing it?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Hi, and welcome to the You World Order Showcase Podcast, where we feature life, health, transformational coaches, and spiritual entrepreneurs stepping up to be the change they seek in the world. I'm your host, Jill Hart, The Coaches Alchemist, on a mission to empower coaches and entrepreneurs to amplify their voice, monetize their mission, and get visible. If you're ready to start attracting premium clients without chasing algorithms or hunting people down like a banshee on a mission, head on over to Coachesalchemist.com.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: and schedule your free client acquisition audit.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's the first step to building a business where your clients seek you out, rather than you having to hunt them down.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Today, we are chatting with Debbie Heiser. Debbie is the founder of Lit Up Life, where she helps purpose-driven women reconnect with their identity, build businesses that are both financially abundant and deeply meaningful. With over 25 years of leadership experience across corporate, entrepreneurship and academia, she blends neuroscience, nervous system regulation, and strategic execution to help women step out of burnout and into aligned.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Embodied leadership. She also teaches leadership at Gonzaga University, guiding the next generation in values-based decision-making and self-awareness. Welcome to the show, Debbie. It's great to have you.
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::Debbie Heiser: Thank you, it's an honor to have… or it's an honor to have me. It is an honor, no, I'm.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It is an honor to have you!
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::Debbie Heiser: It's an honor to be here. It's a Friday afternoon.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And it's late, and we're old.
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::Debbie Heiser: I am honored to be here, thank you for having me.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'm honored to have you.
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::Debbie Heiser: My, thank you.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Alright, let me ask you the big question.
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::Debbie Heiser: Okay.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You studied for this and everything.
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::Debbie Heiser: Do it, yup.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: What's the most significant thing, in your opinion, as individuals, we can do to make an impact on how the world is going?
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::Debbie Heiser: So, I have two things, and they kind of converge together, and the biggest one for me is showing up in love. Like, and it might sound a little woo-y, but we all come from fear or love, and fear is nothing more than false evidence appearing real.
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::Debbie Heiser: And the reason I say that is there's so much fear around who we're supposed to be, all this, like, what kind of roles am I supposed to be? And I will tell you, Jill, I run into more women, and I was one of those, that we wear so many different hats, right? Like, sister, daughter, mother, boss, like, founder, all of these different hats, that we forget who we are.
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::Debbie Heiser: On the inside, right? So the biggest piece that I think that all of this feeds into is just own it. Own your shit, right? Like, own it in the fact that we, like, own your sovereignty, own this, like, powerful person that you are, and
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::Debbie Heiser: every one of us… like, I don't love to say everybody has a purpose, because I think it shifts, right? It evolves, and different things happen, but, like, find the thing that lights you up, and own it. Just go out and do it. Don't be afraid. You know, we were talking about, fuckinomics earlier, right? Like, just don't… who cares? Right? If you're doing what you love, and when we own who we are, and we show up in love.
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::Debbie Heiser: Right? Like, owning who we are and showing up in a love perspective changes the world.
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::Debbie Heiser: It just does.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It makes space for other people.
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::Debbie Heiser: Absolutely, and gives them permission.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Guess.
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::Debbie Heiser: And I can't tell you… I mean, I'm from the Midwest originally, and I find this to be a little more prevalent where I live now. Actually.
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::Debbie Heiser: although I live in a very conservative state, where I live is very innovative, and you know, people really step in and take risk, and they're not adverse to risk. In the Midwest, it's pretty adverse to risk, you know, you graduate high school, you go to college, you get a good job, you live for the weekends, and there's nothing wrong with that, as long as people are excited about it, and they're happy about it, right?
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::Debbie Heiser: And, I mean, corporate was really good to me, don't get me wrong, but there is this…
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::Debbie Heiser: I don't know, if we owned it, we wouldn't be afraid that if we want more, that that's considered bad. I'm a firm believer that entertainment… we are surrounded by messages, and I nerd out about brain science, so, you know, if I get to go in a little bit, you can say, time out, stop!
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Like.
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::Debbie Heiser: the subconscious brain that we have only receives messages. So when it's only receiving messages, and we can't deflect those messages, you watch anything. Like, I had a love-hate relationship with Disney for a long time, and they finally started to shift a few things in their messaging. You think about, and I'm aging myself here, but, like, Pretty Woman.
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::Debbie Heiser: And I'm not all about, I am woman, hear me roar, but I don't need a man to come in on a white horse and save me, right? Like…
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::Debbie Heiser: Or a white limo. And it's more about… like, we're not depicted even in entertainment sometimes as being, like, a partnership. I love some of these new movies with older women now dating younger men, right? And showing the dichotomy there of what's acceptable and what's not. And, you know, I look at entertainment even if you look at Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, and I'm talking the original one, which is the best, by the way, but…
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::Debbie Heiser: When the little girl that wanted something, how was she depicted?
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::Debbie Heiser: I want, I want, I want, right? Like, entitled, just a snot, whatever. And so, we've been fed this line of bullshit for so long, and I just find that once women kind of connect with that inner self.
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::Debbie Heiser: And then their spouses or their partners, all they want to know is that they haven't outgrown them and that they still love them.
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::Debbie Heiser: Right? And so it's pretty simple, but we try to overcomplicate things, so that's my answer, and it's full of a whole bunch of stuff, so I'll let you take it wherever we want to go.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Hi, yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I love that… Older women are getting better roles in the world, and Kathy Bates is, like, my hero.
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::Debbie Heiser: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I think it was fried green tomatoes, where she's like, I'm old, and I have better insurance. She just, like, does what she wants to do!
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And you get to a point, as a woman, it usually starts around 45, between 45 and 50, when you're going through the next life change, which is not the end of your life.
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::Debbie Heiser: Right, right.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I really… when I was going there, it was, like, Okay, you're done.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You know, Golden… golden girls, those women were all in their 40s.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And they were projected as though they were, like, old women.
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::Debbie Heiser: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: They're just, like… they're just, like, you know, you become a teenager, and then you become, you know, childbearing age, and then…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Then you're not childbearing age anymore, and… but you still have a brain and ideas, and you're not a different person, but you're… you're more in touch with who you are if you allow yourself to be, and it's okay to have opinions, and it's okay to be loud and brass, and…
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::Debbie Heiser: It totally is, but you know what I find, Jill, and this goes back to the knowing who you are, that…
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::Debbie Heiser: it really kind of breaks my heart, and it's some of the why behind what I do. I talk to so many women that they're afraid to step out and be their big, bold, beautiful self, because they've either been told they're too much, or they've learned to survive by, like, not being…
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::Debbie Heiser: you know, out there, I was… as a matter of fact, I just had a client today that
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::Debbie Heiser: I've had, and she is the first female colonel in the Air Force National Guard up in Washington, and she recently retired, and she is starting a speaking business, and so I'm like.
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::Debbie Heiser: you need to tell people that you were the first woman colonel. But there's all these unspoken rules in the military that you don't stand out, right? Like, that you're part of, like.
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::Debbie Heiser: you don't stand out, and I said, well, if you're differentiating yourself, and it's kind of the same, like, how… how can we show that we're these unique individuals, and not feel like we're doing something bad? I hate that whole, like, something's bad or good, because there's no… there's no judgment. I mean, there is in the world, don't get me wrong, but…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Masculization.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: of it. I have a friend who is a colonel, she was a colonel in the National Guard, and
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I believe she was a pilot, as well.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: In the Air Force, and she's friends with my dad, who was a Ninander.
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::Debbie Heiser: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And he's in his 90s now. She's probably in her late 70s, I would imagine.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: she's… she's totally like that. It's like… she… she doesn't… she doesn't wear it proudly. It's almost like she's having to apologize for being…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: being this… very productive human being and having a powerful position that she earned! It's not…
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::Debbie Heiser: Absolutely.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: out, Colonel!
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::Debbie Heiser: Right.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Cars, or wings, or whatever you get for being a colonel.
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::Debbie Heiser: Right, they don't hand out the title. And Jill, I find that to be true of every woman I've ever met, right?
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::Debbie Heiser: you think about, like, whether people have children or not, but people that… they've… I mean, we've given birth, for crying out loud. And then, like, you have these positions in a business, or you're working for someone, and you're doing all of these things, and you're being part of the PTA, and, like, multitasking, and doing all of… managing a household, which, so, even if somebody doesn't have a W-2 job, I think one of the toughest jobs in the world is to be a stay-at-home mom, right? If I hear one more person say, I'm just a stay-at-home mom.
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::Debbie Heiser: I'm like, no, no, ma'am.
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::Debbie Heiser: You know, and so, it's sad to me, though, because I see so many women, and that's part of what we work on, is, like, understanding who they are so they can be proud of it. And not in a way that feels uncomfortable as far as I do push the uncomfortability button, but not so that it feels so uncomfortable that it's, like.
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::Debbie Heiser: I'm the only one that is this way, but more so of, yeah, I worked hard at this, and I know a lot from doing this, and I'm here, and still being humble, but not to the point of…
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::Debbie Heiser: not letting people know. I mean, I just… because I feel like if you're in business, because I love sales, and if you're in business, and someone talks to you about something, and you have the ability to help them, if you don't at least say something to them, like, I'll say to somebody, I'm like, well, you know, that's kind of what I do, you want to talk about that?
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::Debbie Heiser: then I'm giving them the middle finger.
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::Debbie Heiser: Right? If I don't say something to them. So, I just find women regard… like, that's a good example, and I'm glad that you brought up the one, too, of what happens in the military, but it… that happens across the board.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: everywhere.
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::Debbie Heiser: Yeah.
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::Debbie Heiser: And I'm seeing it in men, too, more and more.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah. Huh.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: They… we just have reached a point where it's, like, you… you have to be less.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So they offend somebody, And… If you haven't a pen.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It pushes you into a category versus just allowing you to have an opinion about something.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Just because you feel some way about some topic.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Does it mean always or never in other categories?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It just… if we could just, like, be curious.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Let people have opinions about things and not, you know, make it define who they are as good or bad.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah. Because, depending on your perspective, that's, like, what happens to people.
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::Debbie Heiser: Yeah, and you know, I just spent a weekend with this… I was telling you this, this great group of women down in Florida, one of the coaches that I've hired in the past, Andrea Franco, pulls together some amazing women, and
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::Debbie Heiser: the common theme that I heard amongst all of these women that were speaking, that did roundtables, that are, you know, making multiple eight figures,
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::Debbie Heiser: and some of them nine-figure businesses, and it's not all about the money, but I'm here to tell you part of what I do is help people with financial freedom, because there is some freedom that definitely comes with that. And listening to them, the common thread is that
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::Debbie Heiser: they just… they step out, and they… they stand for something. And it's not that, okay, if I stand for this, that makes you wrong. It's, hey, this is my journey, this is what worked for me, and you might resonate with this, and if you do, jump on board. If you don't, that's okay, go find somebody else that you resonate with, right? Like, that's the common message.
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::Debbie Heiser: And it's so even opposite of the right and wrong piece of it. But those people that stand up and they say, this is my story.
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::Debbie Heiser: And this is what happened to me, and here's how I overcame some of this. Or here's how I started a business after being in corporate for 20 years, scared to death that I wasn't going to be able to, you know, support myself, or whatever it is.
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::Debbie Heiser: like, opinion or not, it just… I found that to be really interesting, that that was the common theme, and I mean, I was sitting in a room that if you looked at the P&L of that entire room, you know how sometimes people add up the age of everybody for the wisdom? If you added that up, I don't even… I don't even want to attempt to know how much money was sitting in that room.
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::Debbie Heiser: And I just think, wow, you know, these are… these are women that step out and really are being who they are at the best, and…
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::Debbie Heiser: I just… I find it such a travesty that we don't step into that, that we just want to meld into the background, right? And honestly, like, the spotlight's not for everybody, the stepping out and saying what you are isn't for everybody, but man, I think about the amount of people that don't allow themselves to do that.
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::Debbie Heiser: And I think, the world would be such a different place.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: The world needs those people right now. It's why I do what I do. It's just, I want to shine a flashlight, or a spotlight, on all of the people out there
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: stepping up. Yeah. Just willing to say, hey, I found a way. I'm not for everybody, but for those of you who hear my voice.
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::Debbie Heiser: Right.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: you're not alone. So long, we went along thinking we were the only one. I'm the only weirdo out there that, you know.
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::Debbie Heiser: Yeah, I want people to love my kind of crazy. Those people that love my kind of crazy are the ones that will, like, hop on the bus. Those that don't, go find somebody else that you love their type of crazy, right? And it's funny that you say that, because I think that's where…
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::Debbie Heiser: Like, as I look at men and women, and particularly women that I work with, it's…
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::Debbie Heiser: Like, if we not only stepped into that, but owned it.
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::Debbie Heiser: In a way, and I think you said it eloquently, around there's not judgment if you choose not to believe what I believe.
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::Debbie Heiser: Right? It just means that we're not in each other's tribe, and that's okay. And go find the tribe that works for you. But I find so much right now, there's so much polarization, and I'm not talking politics, just in general, this idea of polarization versus, what do we have in common?
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::Debbie Heiser: And then if we don't have things in common, you don't have to be hateful about it, just go find your tribe.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And your tribe doesn't have to be, like.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: in lockstep with you for everything. Absolutely. That you… that you believe.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: they can…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's what makes life interesting. Like, I'll tell you a secret. Okay, it's not a very big secret, but I believe that the world is a snow globe.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Oh, yeah. Makes absolutely no difference to anybody in the world how I perceive the space that I inhabit.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It makes life easier for me, because it makes things make sense for me.
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::Debbie Heiser: Right.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And I don't care if you think that we're a ball spinning through space.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Doesn't matter.
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::Debbie Heiser: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But not everybody has to believe that.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: in order to be my friend. Or to be somebody that I respect.
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::Debbie Heiser: Absolutely, and Jill, I don't know, how do you feel about this, but I feel like, I believe in abundance, and I believe currency is a part of that abundance, but there are so many other ways that you can experience abundance, and because people are in scarcity.
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::Debbie Heiser: then they don't see this ability to be abundant in different ways. And so, like, a lot of people that I work with, they're tied up in money, and they get so, like, I'm so afraid, you know, and blah blah blah blah blah, that opening them up, and when they see abundance in… like, I drive across a mile and a half long bridge every day, and I see eagles, wild swans, mountains, like.
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::Debbie Heiser: it's my abundance filler, and I'm just like, oh, I live in an abundant universe, right? And the more we vibrate.
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::Debbie Heiser: at that abundance level, then more abundance comes into us, and as we receive more abundance, we start to kind of calm down. Like, I remember when I left corporate after 20 years, it took my body a couple of years to, like, unwind from that, and if we unwind from that, then we start to be open to receive.
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::Debbie Heiser: Because I tell people, if you think you have a money problem, it's not a money problem, it's a receiving problem.
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::Debbie Heiser: Because if I'm deflecting people in relationships, if I'm deflecting money, if I'm deflecting abundance, like…
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::Debbie Heiser: I close it up.
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::Debbie Heiser: And then I really don't know who I am, because all I am is a little…
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::Debbie Heiser: bitchy woman running around, right? Like, because you're not.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Complaining about everything, and then more stuff bad comes.
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::Debbie Heiser: Yeah, yeah, because we're vibrating at that vibration. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's like, the more you pay attention to something, the more it shows up in your life.
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::Debbie Heiser: Absolutely. And Jill, the other thing, too, that I find as you say that.
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::Debbie Heiser: I do a lot of work in what's called transactional analysis, where you have, like, a committee in your head, and you have this little girl or little boy, depending on, you know, what you associate with, and that should
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::Debbie Heiser: and your playfulness. You have the adolescent, which most of us are in our adolescents, but that's the resiliency, that's also the defiant behavior, right? And then we have the critical parent, and that's the one that criticizes, and the adolescent stands in the way, which is why we feel burnout a lot, right? We were talking about earlier, like.
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::Debbie Heiser: how we slowly burn out, and we're in that adolescent, and many times because we don't trust ourselves. And so that mature adult is someone that trusts themselves, and I hear so many women say, oh, I'm my worst critic.
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::Debbie Heiser: Which means they're in their critical parent a lot, and beating themselves up. Like, and I look at people as clients, and I'll say to them.
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::Debbie Heiser: Would you talk to your 5-year-old child this way?
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::Debbie Heiser: well, then stop talking to yourself that way, right? Like…
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::Debbie Heiser: the brain's job is to predict and protect, so tell that critical parent to, you know, thanks for your advice, but I need for you to sit down, and then…
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::Debbie Heiser: have your mature adult take over. But I don't know, Jill, if you run into this, but I find a lot that part of that uncovering who you are and owning your sovereignty comes down to they've lost trust, whether it be, you know, I was married for 30 years, and I was super small.
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::Debbie Heiser: with my ex-husband, and I didn't trust my own feelings, I didn't trust myself to make decisions, even though I was the breadwinner and the one, you know, basically running the household, all these stories that we implement. But trust is another big… like, if I had to answer that very first question, trust is another big piece of owning who you are.
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::Debbie Heiser: And trusting that. And you know, honestly, I mean, I grew up in the church, and I,
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::Debbie Heiser: I was a youth pastor while I worked at Citibank, but I think right now, and this might be a little controversial, I didn't ask you if I could talk about this, but I feel like there's a whole lot of messages in the church, right now, and even in the past decade, that just mess with people's minds. I find more clients that come to me
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::Debbie Heiser: that… and I'm not all against church, don't get me wrong, but, like, that come to me that are so confused, and it's like… it's like the patriarchy of what happened years and years and years ago, that you can't make decisions on your own. Similar to what corporate does, right? Like, you drink the red Kool-Aid of, I don't know who I am and what I can do, and, you know, I'm just conforming, like we were talking about the military, like, conforming into…
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::Debbie Heiser: what's there. So, man, you got me on a roll.
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::Debbie Heiser: I feel like I'm preaching.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Good, you're good. I actually deconverted.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: been probably 4 or 5 years ago now. Yeah. I… I was… I was deep in. I drank Kool-Aid.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: All the way down to the dregs.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And then… I came to realize something about Religion in general.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And it… it really changed my life, but it… there was…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: There was actual lifting of the weight.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: of trying to conform so God would love me.
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::Debbie Heiser: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Which is what… church is all about.
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::Debbie Heiser: And it's so diametrically opposite of what God and Christ… it's so opposite of what it's about.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It is. And so many people are trapped in that…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I… I know that it's supposed to be free, but there's still hell over here, and I don't want to go to hell, and…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Do you know, at some point, you can just, like, let go of that, and say, I don't believe hell exists.
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::Debbie Heiser: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And you're totally free to do that.
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::Debbie Heiser: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And it doesn't… It's one of those things, again, it just doesn't matter.
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::Debbie Heiser: No, it doesn't, and Jill, but it wraps people up. I mean, I will tell you, I was married for 30 years. We separated when… and my son's 33 now, we separated when my son was 5, and I probably should have divorced him then.
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::Debbie Heiser: In all honesty, it would have been better for probably both of us, right? And… but I stayed in it, and a big piece of why I stayed in it was not only my son, but also, like, this idea of my faith, and… and, like, that it was wrong, and I'm like, I don't… I don't know, I think we just put way too many boxes on faith, I think on spirituality, I mean, honestly, like…
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::Debbie Heiser: some of my friends, and they might be listening to this, like, they'd probably freak out if they knew I believed in multiple lives, and that I believe in karma, and, like, some of these things, right? And I have a very strong faith base.
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::Debbie Heiser: So, it's just… it's so interesting to me how it kind of goes back to what we were talking about, about how this, like, conformity wants to happen, when in fact, like, I think about you, and you standing out as the coach's alchemist, and, like, we were all made to, like.
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::Debbie Heiser: be somebody in this world, and I think, too, we focus so much on the doing part.
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::Debbie Heiser: and taking action. I mean, we're given accolades for it, we're given promotions, and, you know, all sorts of things that we forget who we're being, and that's where people forget who they are a lot.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: The whole human being thing.
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::Debbie Heiser: Right?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: As opposed to a human doing thing.
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::Debbie Heiser: Yeah. And it's so… I find it so important, like, I hike a lot, and I try to get out in nature, because…
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::Debbie Heiser: I think you have to slow down in order to speed up. You know, I teach foresight, and in order to kind of see and know what's coming, you have to slow down for a minute, and take a look, and… I mean, I love my phone, but one of the things that I heard this weekend that was a little alarming is it used to be 3 seconds to capture somebody's attention, it's now 1 second.
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::Debbie Heiser: And that most of us can't be without our phones.
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::Debbie Heiser: like, it's almost like an addiction, right? Like, we take it with us everywhere we go, and I thought, wow, I kind of fall into that. I might need to start setting it down a little. Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I walk with my husband every day, and we don't take our phones.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: My husband still is really bad about?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: his phone?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I was gone for 3 months, and…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I used to wait for him to call me, or I would have specific times when I would call him, so he would know that he had to be near his phone, because I was calling.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It used to be in the old days, you know, you just called the house, and the phone would ring, and you'd wait 10 rings, and if it didn't answer, or there was no answering machine, you know, tried again later. But now, we… we just… we want people to be available when we're…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: We expect it!
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::Debbie Heiser: Absolutely, and then that makes everything urgent and necessary, which then screws up our nervous systems, and we wonder why there's so much illness now, and why people are struggling, and why suicide rates are so high. I mean, when you live in that… I call it the Instapot world, right? Like, when you live in that much pressure all the time, it's just… like, people don't know how to regulate their nervous systems. You see a lot of that coming out right now.
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::Debbie Heiser: Which is important.
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::Debbie Heiser: And it's important to take a breath.
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::Debbie Heiser: Right? And breathe, and do those things. And I can get super excited and talk really fast, but it's like, it's important for us to just stop for a moment. We need oxygen.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: They need oxygen, we need to ground, we need to walk around outside, or sit outside at the park, and just, you know, just be.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Not on your phone. Just, you know, experiencing life.
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::Debbie Heiser: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: We… we… We get into these situations where we forget How to just appreciate life.
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::Debbie Heiser: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You grow a garden, spend some time…
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::Debbie Heiser: So, term…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: inside.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Fuck your dog.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Just…
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::Debbie Heiser: So true.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: just allow yourself to have time, and it's really hard… I think it's more… more women who are…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Who are very driven, who… Come from a working background, a corporate background?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: That are used to having…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Other people put boundaries on them, and the prep in those corporations for you to extend your boundaries.
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::Debbie Heiser: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Without pay, usually, for women.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You know, I can't tell you how many times I would have to come and drop something on my desk at 4.45.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And expect it to get done, you know, 3-hour project, and expect it to get done that day.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: That's like… Where the fuck were you all day?
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::Debbie Heiser: Right.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: when I was waiting for something to do.
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::Debbie Heiser: So true, and I know for me… I mean, corporate was really good to me, and I really learned a lot from… and I loved the people that, for the most part, everyone that I worked with, but I don't think I could go back to work for anybody.
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::Debbie Heiser: Like, now that I've been an entrepreneur. Yeah, I'm completely unemployable. I shouldn't say that very loud, but I am completely unemployed.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: This is true!
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::Debbie Heiser: Oh, totally.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You know, you just have to own… own who you are and where you are in life, and, you know, I just… I…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I struggle with people telling me things, and…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: She's like, yeah, no. And my daughter, I… I have lots of… I have two daughters and 3 sons, but my youngest daughter, she works at, various factories.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: she's… they've… all of my kids have been employed since they were, like, 16, doing various things. And so, she… she come and tells me stories about things that go on
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: where she's working, and I'm just like… Yeah, that's not right.
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::Debbie Heiser: Yeah.
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::Debbie Heiser: Whoa!
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Because I would just be, like.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You gotta have it all wrong.
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::Debbie Heiser: Yeah, and you know, unfortunately, I haven't been on this soapbox for a little while, but I really… I feel like we have a self-worth epidemic.
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::Debbie Heiser: In this world, right? Because if people stepped in and owned their sovereignty, and owned who they were, and loved who they were, that's part of the love piece I was talking about.
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::Debbie Heiser: I don't know if we'd have some of the problems that we have today. I certainly think we'd have less people murdering each other, and, like, doing these atrocities to each other, because I think there's so many hurting people, and hurt people hurt people.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And less drugs, and alcohol.
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::Debbie Heiser: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Problems that are… they're so rampant because people just have no outlet, and they're not trained or taught how to
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: To regulate their nervous system in a way that doesn't… involve… Altering their brain.
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::Debbie Heiser: Right.
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::Debbie Heiser: Yeah, that could be sugar, caffeine, like, all of that, too. Yeah, numbing out to Netflix, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah. Well, I'm… I'm guilty of that.
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::Debbie Heiser: too, so…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I binge-watched trash TV guys.
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::Debbie Heiser: Okay, what's a trash TV show you watch?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I've been watching Scandal lately, but I did watch Team Wolf.
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::Debbie Heiser: You watched what?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Team Wolf.
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::Debbie Heiser: Oh, that's funny. That's an oldie. Oh, I love it. I love it. I love that series on Netflix, Love is Blind.
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::Debbie Heiser: I just think it's a really interesting, like…
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::Debbie Heiser: psychology experiment, so, yeah. Trash. Okay, here we are, trash TV at its finest.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, sometimes it's nice to just let your brain go someplace else and have some candy for a while.
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::Debbie Heiser: You know, I had a goal last year to read fiction, because I read… I read a lot, and I read mostly nonfiction, and I read an article that talked about how the only… like, fiction is the only thing that works both sides of your brain.
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::Debbie Heiser: at the same time when you read, so I thought, I'm gonna read fiction, and I devoured some of these books. I'm like, I forgot how much fun it was to read some of these fiction books, so… yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: the crawdads sing.
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::Debbie Heiser: I have, and actually, the woman that wrote it lived just north of us, in Bonners Ferry, Idaho, so, yeah.
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::Debbie Heiser: Yeah, that was a good one.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: That was a great book. It's one of the better books I think I've read, and I read a lot.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I grew up without a television, and…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: like, anything under 300 pages was considered a commercial for my sisters and I.
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::Debbie Heiser: Yeah.
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::Debbie Heiser: Is that any Kristen Hanna? Two of my very favorite books. One is called The Nightingale.
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::Debbie Heiser: And it's about two sisters in Nazi-occupied France.
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::Debbie Heiser: And I'm the type of person, I see patterns, and so I can't typically read to too many of the same author, because I figure out their cadence and their patterns, and then I figure it out.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah.
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::Debbie Heiser: even, like, series on HBO or Netflix that are, like, 6 episodes, you know, by episode 3 or 4, I've got it figured out of who did what, right? So…
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::Debbie Heiser: Which is a blessing and also a curse. She kept me guessing through, and I was blown away at the end. And then the other one of hers that I think is just, like, right up there with the nightingale is called The Women. And it's about, women in the Vietnam War.
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::Debbie Heiser: And how many people, even to this day, that were in Vietnam, will say there weren't women in Vietnam, and there were. A lot of them were in the medical field, but, it's a really good… yeah, both of them are… she's pretty good, but you do kind of figure out her pattern.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Nate?
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::Debbie Heiser: Kristen Hannah, it's K-R-I-S-T-E-N, I think, and then Hannah, H-A-N-N-A-H.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Okay, I'll definitely look correct.
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::Debbie Heiser: The Nightingale is definitely… I mean, they're thicker, right? But… so it won't be a commercial for you, but… and most of the libraries, have them, because they've been out for a while, but yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'll go look for them. I… I love a good… book, I…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I don't read as much as I should, because I get into a book, and it's just like, I'll just have to sit down and mow right through it, and so I lose a whole weekend.
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::Debbie Heiser: I know, I got hooked on these, like, fantasy, sci-fi ones last year, the Sarah Moss.
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::Debbie Heiser: the glass thorn of whatever, and it was about this, assassin who didn't realize that she was actually this… okay, spoiler alert, that she's actually, like, this really powerful queen, and she didn't realize it, and, like, her… and there's, like, 8 or 9 of them, and these books are, like, 900 pages, you know, they're not small books, and same thing. It'd be 3 in the morning, and I'm like, I have to go to bed! Like, no, I have to get to the end of this chapter!
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::Debbie Heiser: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: arguments for yourself. I stayed up and read a book one time.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: it was a… I can't remember the name of it, but it… it was a modern-ish tale of,
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Jacob and Leah Rachel.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And… That takes place in Scotland.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And I just, like, had to read the end of the disc. So it's, like, 2 o'clock in the morning, and I finally get to the end, and I realize.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: At that point, it's a trilogy.
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::Debbie Heiser: Oh, gosh. Oh, brother.
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::Debbie Heiser: And then you were hit. And then you had to read the…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, I had to read the other two, because, you know, you can't… Just stop there.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Even though you know how this story goes, because, you know, biblical.
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::Debbie Heiser: Yep, yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Alright.
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::Debbie Heiser: I bought another one of hers.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: How do you… how do you help people? You have coaching, but how does all of that look?
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::Debbie Heiser: Yeah, so when you say, how does that look, do you mean, kind of like, what are my offerings?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: groups, let's do one-on-one.
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::Debbie Heiser: Thank you. So, to start out with, it's just easy to go out to, and I think we've got it in the show notes for them, that you can join my Build Her group. We do have some monthly training, and we have a monthly kind of networking and teaching call that we do.
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::Debbie Heiser: And then people can share different things within the group. And then I, like, through that, you can learn more, but I offer up private coaching. I do a women's mastermind, where we actually take two trips, and it's a year-long program, and we went to Mexico in February, we're getting ready to go to Greece in September.
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::Debbie Heiser: And, yeah, and then I offer up some other… like, I love doing workshops, so, like, at the end of, the spring, which I know this will be later in the summer, I'm doing one really about the marketing arc, and then in October, I always have a women's retreat here in Sandpoint called Cast Your Vision, and that's an ability for people to slow down and really kind of figure out who I am, and where do I want to go, what's kind of this next chapter.
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::Debbie Heiser: or I have a successful business, but I'm burnt out and I'm tired of it, how can I change what I'm doing? That type of thing. So, and I… I just love working
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::Debbie Heiser: with people.
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::Debbie Heiser: Right? I have some people that are business people in corporate, and I help them to move up the ladder, but the best place to go is, either my podcast, The Lit Up Life with Debbie Heiser, or, the Build Her group, so, yeah.
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::Debbie Heiser: Thank you for asking.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Find that at the Lit Up Life.com.
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::Debbie Heiser: Thelituplife.com, yes. And then if you go backslash BuildHer, it will take you to that, but you can also, under the programs, and it'll say, like, communities, it will share with you. Because I also have a couple of paid communities that include content and other things, so, yeah.
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::Debbie Heiser: Excellent.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Excellent.
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::Debbie Heiser: Alchemist work there with, like, clearings and tarot cards and all that kind of fun stuff, so, yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: As I hold my…
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::Debbie Heiser: Oh, yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: No, it's a talisman. I learned yesterday that there's a difference between amulets and talismans.
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::Debbie Heiser: Oh.
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::Debbie Heiser: Please share!
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Well… Amulets push things away, let things go. The talismans pull things towards you.
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::Debbie Heiser: Okay.
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::Debbie Heiser: Interesting. Well, I have a whole jar right back here for those on video full of crystals and…
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::Debbie Heiser: You can tell I like peacock.
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::Debbie Heiser: Things, so, yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, that's beautiful.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: The peacock eye in the background.
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::Debbie Heiser: It has my favorite quote, you just can't see it, by Helen Keller, that says, life is an adventure or nothing at all, so… yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I like that. A lot.
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::Debbie Heiser: Thank you, yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Thank you so much for joining me today, Debbie. This has been great.
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::Debbie Heiser: Thank you, it's been so much fun, and I so appreciate you even putting up a little bit with my brain being tired today, so thank you.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, it worked great. You can learn more about Debbie and join her free Build Her community on Facebook for female business owners and leaders that are tired of the hustle culture and want to build true connection and make more money and impact without stress by visiting thelituplife.com forward slash buildher.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And we'll be sure to put that link in the description below. Thank you for joining us today. If you're ready to amplify your voice, monetize your mission, and start attracting premium clients, your next step is simple. Head to thecoachesalchemist.com and schedule your free client acquisition audit.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Join us for our next episode as we share what others are doing to raise the global frequency, and remember, change begins with you. You have all the power to change the world. Start today, and get visible.
